3.2 Bad Listening Habits and Practices
Physicians can not cure people of ailments unless their diagnoses reveal the nature of the ailment. In the same way, you cannot improve your listening unless you understand some of the non-physical ailments of your own listening. One way to begin is to examine a few common listener ailments, to identify those that may affect your own listening, and to work on cures for them. Most of us have developed bad listening habits in one or more of the following areas:
. Faking Attention. Have you ever heard an instructor call on you to respond to a question in class only to find out you were not listening? Have you ever left a classroom lecture and later realized that you had no idea what went on? Have you ever been introduced to someone only to find that thirty seconds later you missed the name?
If you had to answer “yes” to any of these, join the huge club of “fakers of attention”. It is rather large because almost all people belong to it. Isn’t it wonderful that we can look directly at a person, nod, smile and pretend listening! We fake giving feedback.
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Welcoming Disruptions. Listening properly requires both physical and emotional effort. As a result, we welcome disruptions of almost any sort when we are engaged in somewhat difficult listening. The next time someone enters your classroom or meeting room during a lecture, notice how everyone in the room turns away from the speaker and the topic to observe the latecomer. Yielding to such disruptions begins early in life. Perhaps it is a form of curiosity.
. Over-Listening. Over-listening occurs when listeners attempt to record in writing or in memory so many details that they miss the speaker’s major points.
. Stereotyping. Most people use their prejudices against and perceptions of others as a basis for developing stereotypes. As a result, we make spontaneous judgments about others based on their appearances, mannerisms, dress, speech delivery, and whatever other criteria play a role in our judgments.
. Dismissing Subjects as Uninteresting. People tend to use “uninteresting” as a rationale for not listening. Unfortunately, the decision is usually made before the topic is ever introduced.
. Failing to Observe Non-Verbal Aids. Good listening requires use of ears as well as eyes. To listen effectively, you must observe the speaker. Facial expressions and body motions always accompany speech and contribute much to messages. Unless you watch the speaker, you may miss the meaning and then show your bad habit: looking out of the window.
In addition to recognizing bad listening habits and the variety of barriers to effective listening, you should also recognize that listening is not easy. Many bad listening habits develop simply because the speed of spoken messages is far slower than our ability to receive and process them. Normal speaking speeds are between 100 and 150 words a minute. The human ear can actually distinguish words in speech in excess of 500 words a minute and people may read at speeds well beyond 500 words a minute. Finally, our minds process thoughts at thousands of words a minute. We just cannot speak fast enough to challenge the other’s human listening equipment, which means listeners have the primary responsibility for making oral communication effective. In our everyday activities, good listening requires considerable mental and emotional effort.
Below are some of the barriers that create communication problems between speakers and listeners:
. Distractions
. Negative feelings about subject
. Thinking only about self
. Low interest level
. Cultural differences
. Negative feelings about speaker
. Educational differences
. Difference in sending and receiving speeds
Suggestions for effective listening:
Because of the availability of both feedback and non-verbal signs, you can enhance the effectiveness of your face-to-face listening by following these suggestions:
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