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later this year. The interview was conducted on May 28,
2002.
CVC: Do you mind talking about any aspect of the crash
and losses in your own life?
AH: “No. It is like therapy when I talk about these things.
It helps me.”
CVC: Have you developed a philosophy or perspective
about survival of the accident that helps you cope?
AH: “I have been here 13 years longer than I should
have. I and the other survivors of the crash should have
died that day. We were given extra years to do the best
that we can. No one gets out of this world alive. Being
healthy is what is important. In some cases, death is a
better option. For example, when my wife Darlene’s
mother died of Alzheimer’s disease several years before
Darlene died. Her quality of life was not high at all, but she
was alive. I am not sure that life like that is better than
death.
Losing a child to me is the worst loss of all. No one wants
to outlive a child. The only thing good that we can say
about having lost our 37-year-old son is that at least we
had him in our lives for 37 years. (Al and Darlene’s son
was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1996).
(Continued on page 3)
Dr. Therese A. Rando
A Discussion with Carolyn Coarsey about the
Complicated Grief and Mourning of Survivors
Dr. Therese A. Rando, is a clinical psychologist in private practice
in Rhode Island and founder of the Institute for the Study
and Treatment of Loss and author of numerous articles and
books including Treatment of Complicated Mourning (1993,
Research Press). Dr. Rando attended a recent FAF workshop
in Boston. During a break, Dr. Coarsey had the opportunity to
talk with Dr. Rando about the issue of complicated mourning
and survivors (specifically family members of deceased passengers
& crew).
Over the years of interviewing and interacting with bereaved
relatives, I have noticed that it is not unusual for survivors to
display a great deal of emotion when discussing the loss(es) of
their loved-ones and the circumstances surrounding the
crashes that claimed their lives--often years after the date of
the crash. I am always surprised when I hear other professionals
who may observe this state their belief that the survivor has
not healed, despite the fact that in many cases the person is
living an otherwise productive, meaningful life. Because of Dr.
Rando’s immense amount of research and experience in the
field of complicated mourning, I was glad to have the opportunity
to discuss this issue with her.
Dr. Rando validated my belief that an individual can experience
brief periods of intense grief reactions without necessarily
needing to have treatment. I was intrigued by our discussion
and looked up the subject in the book referenced above.
Briefly, the term for these reactions on the part of a survivor is
“subsequent temporary upsurges of grief” (STUG). An STUG
can be described as a brief period of acute grief for the loss of
a loved one, which is catalyzed by a precipitant that underscores
the absence of the deceased and/or resurrects memories
of the death, the loved one, or feelings about the loss. The
chapter goes on to say that “too often, healthy and understandable
STUG reactions have been misdiagnosed as pathological
responses.” If you like to read more about this subject, it is
found in Chapter 2, pages 64-65.
For all of us who invite survivors to class for the purpose of
helping educate family assistance teams, I think it is important
to understand this phenomena. I always try to spend a few
minutes after a survivor’s presentation thanking them for sharing
about their loved-one and the very, painful memories of
their death(s). After all, the survivors are always our greatest
teachers. I am also grateful to researchers like Dr. Rando for
continuing to provide us with a framework for understanding
survivor experiences.
(Continued from page 1)
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